Grappling is an excellent method to prevent vagination in boys.

Grappling is an excellent method to prevent vagination in boys.

“Surprised” is not really the word I would use to describe my feelings when reading the latest story about the Boy Scouts of America. I suppose “disappointment” or “chagrin” might be more apt descriptors added in with a bit of sadness or malaise.

In case you missed the dozens of different outlets that featured the story, on May 20, 2015, the NY Post published a story highlighting the new rules in the Boy Scouts of America official handbook prohibiting the use of squirt guns and strictly limiting the use of water balloons (yes, water balloons).

The story quoted the BSA manual stating:

“[P]ointing any type of firearm or simulated firearm at any individual is unauthorized”. To continue, water balloons may be used but only if they are no larger than a ping pong ball and “biodegradable”.

To be fair, it seems that pellet-guns, .22 rifles, muzzle-loading rifles and shotguns will remain in the official Boy Scout Shooting Sports curriculum. One has to ponder if boy scouts cannot be educated to tell the difference between shooting someone with a live firearm and dowsing your buddy on a hot summer day with a water-filled toy. This story is not in and of itself the disease of Vagination in modern America, but more a symptom of that malady. Folks, far too many of your fellow citizens are raising their sons to be pussies. It is not my aim to be trite or glib. As a matter of fact, I mean to be frank with you. The United States of America that your great-grandfather or grandfather fought to preserve and defend is eroding from under our feet and we are largely to blame. During the recent unpleasantness, I spent three years teaching Small Arms and Tactics to U.S. Military personnel. The vast majority of our students ranged from age 18 to 21, the age of my own son at the time. What I discovered first hand from working every day of the week with these kids was that we have largely failed to prepare them for the rigors of adulthood and civic duty. What is even more frightening is that the young people I worked with were the uppermost percentage of their peers as they had at very least graduated from Basic Training before they arrived at our Expeditionary Combat Skills School.  



3 Methods to Prevent Vagination

Although this article has been rolling around in my head for quite some time, the BSA story forced me to take action. What follows is an extremely thoughtful dissertation of three methods I believe will aid our sons and help them to become men who are worthy of citizenship in the United States of America, not France.

I feel certain that most of you reading this will, by virtue of following Student of the Gun, have implemented some of these, but perhaps not. Understand that, like the Drill Instructor who takes you to the pit or quarterdeck for extra PT, I undertake this mission not with malice in my heart, but with love. Read on MacDuff.

Martial Arts Training

When I say “Martial Arts” I do not mean cardio kickboxing or what passes as Tae Kwon Do in contemporary America. Modern “kids Karate” is like soccer in white cotton uniforms. The best it serves to do is work out some of the hyper-active energy from your little crumb-crunchers.

Boys need to tussle; they need to rough it up with other boys. We know that the liberal indoctrination centers that we laughingly refer to as public schools frown upon boys being boys and tussling with each other. “Use your words little Billy”. Try using your words when a crackhead is smashing your head into the asphalt so he can take your last $20 or when Johnny Jihad has that rusty knife pressed to your throat.

Jarrad Markel & Brad Kelly MMA Practice

Jarrad & Brad MMA Practice

No, I am not telling you that your son should be a Krav Maga black belt at age nine, but he should also not pee in his pants the first time he is physically accosted by a bully. Your son will have to deal with bullies his entire life. Bullies do not go away when you leave junior high.

Traditional collegiate-type wrestling is a great place to start. Throughout the entire history of man, societies understood this. It is only in our great modern and vaginated state that we cannot understand its value.

From a more traditional standpoint, Jiu Jitsu (Japanese or Brazilian) are both fantastic ways to teach your boys to tussle with other boys in a productive manner. Punching and kicking the air or foam filled pads is fun, but nothing instills genuine confidence in physical abilities like grappling sports. And, unlike boxing, with grappling little Billy doesn’t risk the broken nose and concussion his grandma is afraid he will get.

Farm Work

Yes, I fully understand that the vast majority of you are reading this from the confines of some metropolitan area. I was blessed and consider myself infinitely fortunate that my parents took us out of the city of Detroit and transplanted us in rural Holmes County when I was 15 years old.

Farm Work

Farm Work

Farm work, from a physical standpoint, forces a boy to exert himself like no other type of work can. We had wood burning stoves in the house and if we wanted to stay warm in the winter we needed a woodshed full of split logs before the frost came. You may be familiar with the old saying that a wood burning stove warms you twice; once when you split the wood and once when you burn it.

Taking care of animals teaches responsibility that cannot be learned from a book. The livestock needs to be fed, every single day, morning and evening. The horses and cows do not care if you are warm in your bed or tired. Don’t even get me started on dairy cows.

I recall hard winters when the water pump in the barn froze and I had to haul five-gallon buckets of water, one in each hand, from the house to the barn before high school so the animals would have something to drink.

You think your burger flipping job is tough? Try spending an entire sweltering day in July filling a hayloft with freshly baled hay and straw (P.S. round bales are for pussies. I kid, I kid, calm down). Spend an early spring weekend pitching the manure that built up all winter long into a spreader. Then come and tell me your job at Subway is soooo stressful.

Firearms

Teach your sons to respect firearms just as they would respect the dangers of power tools. Speaking of which, make your son mow the lawn. For Pete’s sake, tell your wife that it is not going to kill your son to mow the damn lawn once in a while. When I was ten years old, I pushed a lawn mower around our yard every week April to October and it was nearly a half-acre. No, I didn’t die.

Jarrad Markel at Tactical Response for Fighting Rifle

Jarrad Markel at Tactical Response for Fighting Rifle

Back to guns, teach your kids the 4 Universal Safety Rules as soon as they are old enough to understand fire is hot and razor blades are sharp. Make use of .22 LR rifles and pistols (either you or one of your friends is sitting on 5000 rounds of .22 rimfire, quit hoarding it and teach your kids to shoot). I have personally worked with hundreds of 4H Shooting Sports youth who are now productive adults.

When your son is physically and mentally mature enough, teach them to shoot a centerfire handgun and rifle. As they progress I highly recommend that you have them shoot reactive targets; steel is the most common type. Get your sons up and off of the shooting bench and have them hold the gun in their hands. By this time they should be responsible enough to control their actions and behave in a safe manner. If they violate safety rules, be sure that they understand what they did and why it is important not to behave that way.

Parting Thoughts

Your sons are only going to be children (little boys) for a very short period of time. It is during this time that they learn how to be men. Expecting a boy to magically become a man on his eighteenth birthday is the height of naiveté and silliness.

As I mentioned at the outset, societies throughout the entire history of the world, going all the way back to Greece and Egypt, knew that a boy is a man in training. Train them up right and they will be productive citizens, prepare them for the ugly and unfair world they are about to enter.

Coddling your sons, attempting to shield them from all that is rough, ugly, and dangerous is the greatest form of child abuse you can inflict. I’m not telling you to name the poor kid “Sue”, but stop treating your sons like fragile little babies. I am deadly serious when I tell you that the United States of America cannot survive another generation of man-boys, weak-willed little ninnies who cry and run for their momma when things don’t go their way.

Read Paul Markel’s new book:SOTG 335 - Go Team Honey Badger, 10 yo girl fight off kidnappers
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